C++

Originally posted April 29, 2002 on my first website.

Thirteen reasons C++ is my favorite programming language:
 
13. It doesn't require a JVM so if you're stuck with a crappy OS, you can still have somewhat useful applications.
12. It has all the functionality of C.
11. The basic syntax isn't that hard to learn.
10. Inline Assembly for those times when you absolutely NEED those extra nano-seconds.
9. "MyVariable++;" instead of "MyVariable=MyVariable+1;"
8. "for" loops.
7. System access. You can make your computer do "interesting" things. :)
6. A lot of modern programs are still written in C++, especially Open Source Software.
5. Pascal seems to have all but disappeared.
4. Computer Games.
3. Portability!
2. People think Computer Programmers are smarter than everyone else.
1. As long as we control all the computers on the planet, they'll never figure out that we're not.

Political Satire: Health Care

A satirical conversation about “Free health care.”

Conservative: “How does that work? Wouldn't we have to enslave doctors and compel them to provide a service for free?”

Liberal: “No silly, the government pays the doctors.”

C: “Where does the government get the money?”

L: “Tax dollars, it's not really free.”

C: “Exactly!”

L: “No, its free to you. This is why we need to tax the rich more, they should pay their fair share.”

C: “Really? So, we should enslave rich people so we can get free-to-us health care?”

L: “Hey, I didn't say anything about enslaving the rich. They need to pay their fair share!”

C: “What would be a fair share? Maybe make them pay the exact same percentage of a much larger income? Fifteen percent of 30,000 is 4,500. Fifteen percent of 1,000,000 is 150,000.”

L: “We're talking about health care and already you're trying to sneak in your crazy flat tax ideas.”

C: “I didn't invent the idea, but I do like it a lot. Fine, that is a separate discussion. Back to health care. If I lived a particularly reckless life, consuming lots of free medical care, and refused to work, limiting my tax liability. Wouldn't that place an undue drain on the system?”

L: “We'll force you to pay your fair share with health insurance premiums, by compelling you to sign up.”

C: “Do you have any concept of what the word free means? Seriously, are we speaking the same English? What if I honestly can't afford the premium? Doesn't this mean I have to pay the government for the privilege of living?”

L: “No, it's just like owning a car. And, we'll have tax breaks for the poor. The overall costs will be lower. And medical care will be free.”

C: “I don't have to purchase insurance to own a car, only to drive the car on government roads. If I live close enough to a town I don't even need a car. Tax breaks? We're back to a possibility for people to game the system, by refusing to work, making themselves poor. Living dangerously using lots of medicine. And, hospitals give you food and a bed for the night if you're hurt badly enough.”

L: “Are you saying people are only poor because they choose to be?”

C: “Certainly not. I was asking about a particular type of fraud. And, what about that fraud?”

L: “We'll have investigators for that.”

C: “Tell me, if we pay doctors, we pay the factory workers who produce medical equipment. And the medicines too. We even pay the brilliant people who invent new medical stuff to let them continue being brilliant medical inventors. We give tax breaks to the poor. And create some new branch of fraud investigators. How do we reduce the cost of health care?”

L: “Stopping fraud more than pays for itself! We'll create an administrative committee to develop realistic solutions to problems as they arise. We'll only put smart, trustworthy people on the committee. They'll work out inefficiency. They'll make sure only people who can afford it pay, and they'll eliminate waist and redundancy. Basically, corporate fat cats get cut out of the picture.”

C: “I'm glad we avoided death panels. Unless, the committee is wrong about a fraud case and someone dies. Or, one of their solutions doesn't work as planned and someone dies. Or, some committee member isn't as trustworthy and plays favorites and someone dies. Or, they get bribed or otherwise extorted to off someone. Or, they decide an expensive breast cancer drug doesn't increase your chances of survival enough for its cost and therefore is inefficient and someone dies. Or, they make mistakes about who can really afford it and fail to save any money after all. Or, they decide keeping grandma alive waists too much money and someone dies. Or, they decide a doctor prescribed double dose is redundant and someone dies. Or, you really, really don't like corporate fat cats and some die.”

L: “Those are extreme scenarios, you're being ridiculous.”

C: “They could never happen, right? The breast cancer scenario is already happening, I don't know if someone has died because of it, yet. But that seems inevitable.”

L: “Wow, your being so negative!”

C: “Does this thing come with a death panel or not?”

L: “Certainly not!”

C: “Than how does it cut costs?”

L: “The committee, duh!”

C: “So, I'm supposed to trust these committee members with nearly unlimited power over my medical decisions, to never make even simple human error? And, isn't that an aspect of slavery? Didn't slave owners exercise such power over their slaves?”

L: “Why are you so obsessed with slavery?”

C: “Why is it slavery when a private citizen has unlimited power over a person, but not if the government has the same power?”

L: “The Government is supposed to have power over people.”

C: “I thought the constitution said the power of government is granted by the people.”

L: “You are not a constitutional lawyer, so how would you know?”

C: “I can read. But we've gotten off topic again, it seems everything is tied into health care somehow. So, how does this health care plan work again?”

L: “Magic!”

C: “I thought so. You should have started with that.”